Best Man - Duties, Speeches & Wedding Etiquette

Been asked to give the best man's speech ? 

There two things which you'll need to do:-

1.        Be prepared
2.        Be heard - so speak up!

So, c ongratulations! Someone – most likely a close friend or a relative, has asked you to be his Best Man, and you’ve agreed.

Now what? 

Best Man Duties 

As the Best Man, you have a variety of duties.

Primarily, you will find yourself responsible for keeping the wedding rings safe in the hours leading up to the ceremony, and acting as a legal witness to the marriage.

You will also be expected to make a toast and/or a speech at the wedding, and assist the groom with any other duties he may ask of you. This could include helping to plan a Bachelor party, decorating the “Newlywed” car, or acting as an usher.

You might also be asked to man an I-pod, organize a PowerPoint presentation, or even give the groom a pep talk if he gets the jitters! 

Basically, your role is to take care of things the groom would normally do at an event he were to host – because he will be busy, getting married! 

Your role as a Best Man will vary greatly from culture to culture – and from wedding to wedding!

Depending on the degree of formality, the size of the wedding, and even the season, you may be responsible for different tasks.

Be sure to have a frank discussion with the Groom so you are both clear on what you will be responsible for – that way neither of you will have any surprises on the big day!

Whether you are participating in an Italian wedding for 400 or an intimate garden affair, you will likely be expected to make a speech.   

The Best Man’s Speech 

The Best Man’s speech is a traditional part of the wedding celebration, and probably the part of your duties that you are most anxious about.

Relax – everyone is there to have a good time and celebrate! Y our speech should be something you have prepared in advance, and practiced enough times to feel comfortable in front of a crowd.

• A few cue cards will help you stay on track.
• Remember to look up, make eye contact, and speak clearly.
• Mess up a line? Take a deep breath and begin where you left off.
• One drink might help calm your nerves – but if you plan on having more than that, it is advisable to wait until after your speech! 

Not sure what to say?

Traditionally, you will be the last to speak (just after the groom, and if she chooses to speak; the bride). You should thank the groom on behalf of anyone he has just complimented (such as the bridesmaids) and be sure to mention how beautiful the bride looks.

A few anecdotes later, and you are ready to make a toast to the lovely couple. If you are not sure what to say, use reference material such as poetry books or your computer to help get your creative juices flowing.  

If the Maid of Honor will be speaking as well, you may wish to collaborate with her to make your speeches work well together.

For example, she might focus her speech on the bride while you focus on the groom. You could even work together to create a memorable joint speech! 

It is poor etiquette to bring up anything that might make the bride or groom uncomfortable, embarrassed, or upset.

While it is perfectly fine to say how much “trouble” you got into in college, recounting racy evenings is going too far. Keep the stories PG, and save the juicy ones for a private reminiscing-session later!  

Remember who your audience is – there are usually a few grandmothers out there! 

Think of your friend’s personality. Is he the type who appreciates a joke or two at his expense, or would he prefer you sing his praises (which you should certainly be doing!).  

You may also be asked to read aloud messages from guests who were not able to attend the festivities. In today’s technological world, this could mean incorporating a pre-recorded message from a far-away relative. It would be wise to view these before airing them publicly, just in case there is something inappropriate.  

As your speech comes to an end, remember to finish by thanking everyone for coming and wish the newlyweds a wonderful life together!

Lead the guests as you raise your glasses in a celebratory toast.

The happy couple will remember your words for a long time to come – you may even wish to give them a written copy of the toast, as a special keepsake.

And here’s to you – for completing your tasks as Best Man! Cheers!

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