How To Make A Wedding Speech   

Public speaking is famous for giving people the jitters!

In fact, many people claim to be more nervous about giving speeches than actually getting married!  

Remember you are speaking to a receptive audience – they want to be there, and are interested in what you have to say! Maybe you are the Maid of Honor and are giving a speech about how you and the bride have been leaning on each other since you were toddlers. Perhaps it is your wedding day and you want to thank your parents and guests for their support. Or maybe your child is getting married and you would like to give a speech to offer them advice as they embark on the path of marriage.  Whatever the case, a wedding speech is a special moment worth preparing for! 

The Order of Things 

Speeches can be as formal or as informal you like. There are particular speeches that are traditionally made at the wedding. These include The Father of The Bride Speech, the Groom Speech, and the Best Man Speech. 

The Father of the Bride speech is typically made first, where he welcomes the guests and congratulates the new couple. His speech will often recount a story from the bride’s youth, and welcome his new son-in-law to the family. After a few jokes, anecdotes, and words of wisdom, he will then propose a toast.  

The Groom then stands to thank everyone for coming, and historically he would thank the bride’s parents for “giving away” their daughter to him – clearly not necessary today, but some sort of compliment will be appreciated. The Groom traditionally compliments his bride, thanks the wedding party, and introduces his best man. 

The Best Man speech often gets a lot of laughs as he shares a few stories about the groom, and if he knows her, the bride as well.  If there are any guests who were not able to come, he might share a few words from them.   

Of course, many couples choose to throw tradition to the wind! If you prefer a different order, or to have different people speak, go for it!  These are simple guidelines!  

Today we often see speeches from non-traditional participants, such as the Maid of Honor or the Mother of the Groom.  Additionally, you may choose to have a “Master of Ceremonies” who will announce each speaker.              

Preparing for Speeches

Writing your speech is only the first step! After brainstorming, researching other speeches, and talking about your role with the wedding party or friends, it is time to write it out.  You may wish to choose a particular angle.  This will make it easier to stay focused.  Some examples might include, “Things I have Learned From this Couple,” or “Why my Brother is So Much Better Since he Met Jenny.”  You can then add in quotes, stories, jokes, and compliments. A general rule? Practice good etiquette and don’t bring up anything R-rated, or that might embarrass or anger the happy couple. If you find yourself in a situation where you do not know the couple well but have been asked to speak, just keep it brief, traditional, and positive.   

Be Prepared 

Whatever your role at the wedding, making a speech can be stressful. Be sure to prepare in advance and practice, practice, practice. Don’t be afraid to bring your notes with you as you speak – no one is there to judge! If you are particularly nervous about speaking at a wedding, you may want to take a public speaking course at a local college – what a fun way to learn a new skill and boost your speaking guidelines! 

If you have any guidelines you wish to set, it is OK to let people know!  For example, you may not want any drinking stories from the Best Man, or maybe you don’t want your dad to tell that embarrassing story from the prom! You may ask them to keep it under 5 minutes. Whatever the case is, it is your special day and feel free to set some guidelines! 

Not a fan of speeches on your wedding day? It’s OK to opt for just one or two short speeches! You can thank your wedding party with a thoughtful gift, or a hand written note. Take the person you want to address aside and let them know just how important they are to you.  You can still give a little “speech” – even if you prefer not to announce it in front of all your guests!  

Recommended Resources

Best Man Speeches - there's a tradition for anecdotes and funny jokes, here's some tips on what to say for the

Wedding Toast - a simpler affair, yet important to get right.  Sample words to use as well as etiquette tips